Feeling truly supported during labor is one of the most important factors that will determine how you feel about your baby’s birth. No matter how the hours unfold, if mom feels supported and respected, she’ll most likely have a more positive outlook on her birth story. I decided to put together a few tips for support partners. I came up with these 5 tips based on my personal experience and what I’ve seen during other births. If you’re concerned about how to support your partner during her labor, I’d highly recommend hiring a doula and taking a birth preparation class. The Bradley Method and Birthing From Within are the two that I’d personally recommend!

The following are 5 ways to offer labor support to your partner:

 1. Don’t watch the machines.

If you’re laboring in a hospital, you may be hooked up to monitors for part or all of your labor. One of the best ways to support a laboring woman is to make sure you’re giving HER your attention, not the machines. I understand how hard this one is. I see so many partners (and mommas) focusing on the monitors instead of on the woman in labor. And I get it – it really is interesting to see the spikes go up and realize how strong those contractions are! But it can be a distracting and inaccurate depiction of what’s going on.

 2. Focus on positive feedback.

It’s amazing how helpful some positive feedback can be! Even if labor is long or slow-moving, reiterating how strong momma is can be so helpful. When I was in labor, I was off in my own world (often referred to as “labor land”) but hearing positive feedback from my husband and doula helped so much! It reminded me that I was strong and baby would be here soon. So much of labor is determined by a woman’s mental state. If she’s scared or discouraged, labor may stall. If she’s confident and comfortable, labor tends to go more smoothly.

3. Really listen to her.

A woman in labor may not have the ability to communicate effectively. She may have to limit herself to one word at a time, especially as she gets closer to the pushing stage. So working hard to really listen is key as a support person. Discussing this possibility ahead of time may help, as well.

 4. Tell her you’re proud.

The words “I’m proud of you” are so immeasurably beautiful during labor. At least they were for me. Hearing that my husband was proud of the hard work I was doing was all I needed to get through the next contraction. Make sure you’re verbalizing that you understand how hard this must be and you are truly proud of her for doing the work and bringing your baby into the world! I’ll never forget the first words I heard after Finn arrived: “I’m so proud of you!”

 5. Hire a birth photographer.

Here is where you roll your eyes at me. Obviously I’m going to recommend hiring a birth photographer – I AM a birth photographer! But I really do believe that this is one of the best ways that you can focus on your laboring partner and support her well. If you are worrying about taking photos or video, you can’t focus on her. She needs you right now – all of you. So either she won’t be your priority, or you won’t be able to photograph the miracle of birth because you’re supporting her. BUT WAIT! Neither of these things need to happen. Things work best if each support person has one role to focus on.

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