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August 15, 2019

Enneagram + Birth | Type 5

My goal with these blog posts is to create a resource for mommas who are planning a pregnancy or birth and find a lot of insight through the Enneagram. This is just one tool in your toolbox when preparing for birth but I hope it’s an eye-opening one!

So, let’s dive in! Below is a description of the Enneagram Type Five as defined by The Enneagram Institute. After that, I have some insight from women who are type fives and have given birth. At the end of the post, I’ve shared a few insights and “homework” for you. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section!



“Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.”

Lauren’s Experience:

“I tend to be a deep thinker, analytical, logical, objective, good at giving unbiased advice, can tend to withdraw from people and hide emotions. I think I’m ore social than a textbook five, but otherwise it’s pretty accurate!

Looking back, I was hesitant to hire a doula and photographer because I was worried I would feel crowded. This was probably the five in me needing space and wanting to retreat. I was also nervous about such an emotional event being on display to others. I do think I chose a birth center because it felt more private. Reflecting back on it, I definitely acted like a five leading up because I researched endlessly and learned everything I possibly could about pregnancy and birth. I think this personality trait helped me because I do not like being in situations where I feel clueless or uninformed. I felt confident and I think that helped me meet my birth goals.

On the upside, fives can be logical and stay calm in hard situations. On the downside, I get overstimulated fast and need to recharge by being alone and in silence.”

Carmen’s Experience:

“I’m a five, which can look like a lot of alone time, lots of time dedicated to niche interests, and lots of ‘why’ questions.

I definitely had certain goals and expectations for myself and the hospital that I wanted to meet. That meant that I could not get enough information when I was pregnant. I had tons of questions for my doctor and considered myself well-educated when it was time for labor and delivery. While in labor, I wanted as much control as possible. My birth plan was simple in theory: leave me alone! One surprising thing that was helpful during delivery was the vocal encouragement that I’d get from hospital staff as I labored. I just KNEW that any sort of cheering for me while in labor was going to drive me crazy, but being told that I was doing a good job, being affirmed for my hard work, was life giving for me. I guess it confirmed my overall desire to maintain as much control as I could and to gain as much preparative info that I could.”


  • In general, fives will do tons of research and go into birth super prepared.
  • Fives also desire privacy and may opt out of having a support team for this reason.
  • As a five, you may end up subconsciously isolating yourself during your pregnancy. Be careful not to isolate too much – having a supportive “village” once baby arrives is so important!
  • Fives may get overstimulated and need privacy during labor. Don’t be afraid to ask people to leave the room (or have a support person do that for you).


  • If you’ve done a ton of research (like a true five), sit down with your partner and make sure they know all the same things you’ve learned and they are prepared to support you through labor.
  • Make sure your care provider and birth team know that you’d like to be left alone as much as possible and maintain privacy during labor. For example, if you are birthing at a teaching hospital, they may ask if students can attend your labor, which is probably not something you’re comfortable with. Make sure these conversations are had before you are actually admitted and in labor.
  • On the other hand, it’s okay to let people in and allow them to help you during labor, birth, and the newborn days. Surround yourself with people who love you and who you trust.

Are you a Five on the Enneagram? If so, what was your birth experience like? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

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