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May 17, 2017

How to create a “Birth Wish List” | Birth Week 2017

This post could also be titled “How to Plan for Your Birth With an Open Mind” or “Don’t Go In Blind But Don’t Make a Plan.” Whatever you want to call it, I think it’s helpful to plan for your birth but also understand the unpredictability of labor.

create a birth plan

 

I often hear that mommas-to-be don’t want to create a birth plan because they’re worried that they’ll “get their hopes up” or things won’t go how they planned and they’ll be disappointed. I completely, 100% understand these concerns (I promise I do!) but I can’t say that I fully agree with foregoing the entire birth plan.

A client of mine told me that she’d be creating a “birth wish list” leading up to her birth and I thought that was such a great idea! It’s important to make your whole birth team aware of your desires for your birth while understanding that things may come up and plans may have to change.

birth center

Back when I was pregnant, I inadvertently put my “birth plan” on a pedestal. I basically thought that my birth plan was just that – a plan. So to me, there was no reason to veer from the plan. But my sweet boy had other plans. My labor was long and things changed to accommodate that. Knowing what I know now, I wish I’d been able to adapt to the changes in my labor without the severe disappointment and while giving myself grace.

That’s where the “birth wish list” comes into play. Creating a plan while knowing that things may not happen according to that “plan” is a great way to approach birth. You shouldn’t go into it blindly, assuming things will just happen the way you want them to, but you also shouldn’t create a plan that you aren’t able to move away from if need be. You wouldn’t attempt to run a marathon without training, would you? Birth should be no different. So below are a few steps to creating a “Birth Wish List.”

postpartum recovery

1. Talk to your OB or Midwife.

The first step should be to discuss all of the possibilities and options with your care provider. He or she will be able to answer your questions and walk you through how your care will look once you go into labor. They’ll also be able to talk to you about the many possibilities and outcomes of birth. Being on the same page as the person who will be working very closely with you during labor is always a great idea.

2. Decide what’s most important.

While I hope your care provider will do their best to follow your birth “wish list,” sometimes things must change. For this reason, it’s best to know what’s most important on your list. Is avoiding medical interventions the most important part? Is immediate skin-to-skin most important to you? Take some time to think about what you want most. Then talk to your partner and be sure to let your care provider know. This will assure that everyone is on the same page about what your goals are.

home water birth3. Be Specific.

Do your best to think through your entire labor and birth (your care provider can also help with this). Do some research, talk to other moms, get to know the entire birth process. Knowing exactly what you’re “wishing” for will help you understand how to create your wish list. For example, instead of saying “unmedicated birth,” say “I do not want any mention of pain medication during my labor.” Instead of saying “immediate skin-to-skin,” say “my baby should come directly to my chest once born, before being washed, weighed, or measured.”

4. Keep an open mind.

This is the most important part of creating a “wish list” instead of a “plan” and this is the biggest mistake I made during my pregnancy with my son. Fight for your wish list. Fight for your ideal birth. But keep an open mind. Many times, things have to change. I hope that you’ve found a care provider that you can trust through this process.

hospital birth

These are all guidelines and creating your wish list should always be discussed with your care providers. I hope this article is helpful! Feel free to post comments or questions below and I’ll be sure to answer!

To see birth stories, click HERE.

To inquire about having me photograph your birth, click HERE.

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